The Inner Struggle

Fraternal Harmony …

Spirited Away – The Sixth Station”, Joe Hisaishi, from the soundtrack album “Hisaishi meets Miyazaki Films”, 2008

The-Return-of-the-King-Smeagols-BirthdayFraternal Charity is a virtue. This is a new place for me. Is has been a 40 year journey from that sun-blessed pinnacle where I comfortably believed I was the most important being on the planet and could literally do anything I chose to.

At that time in my life, after 8 years of indoctrination that “We Are The Best Of The Best!” I sincerely believed it. I worshiped myself, my “Precious”. Once upon a time…young bodies…beauty woven around a knot of need…preening like the flowers of carnivorous plants. Each of us the most important thing in the world, such was the seduction of that knot of need.

Spiritually, my personal position could be summarized as “O God, I give Thee thanks that I am not as the rest of men” (Lk 18, 11). Ah, the fresh delusions of youth are so attractive to the young while they still know nothing but think they know everything.

Idiots HappenThat was then … 38 years later, 38 years of unrelenting grinding exposure to the vagaries of human nature and human behaviour I had reached a point where the only perceived solution to the “obvious” problems involved somehow removing from the picture the despicable, self centered, human animal.

All the politicians, the bureaucrats, the teachers, all the apparatchiks of the modern progressive totalitarianism which forms our modern English society, ALL had to go! NOT POSSIBLE!

No hope for us as a society, our neo-roman empire spanning the known world,  no hope but to go down before the venal narcissistic corruption everywhere, no more centurions coming forward, no one to stand and deliver before the onslaught of the ISIS barbarians against whom no western government can hope to stand in the vacuum of their unbelief and self worship!

When I started this blog two years and a couple of hundred thousand words ago I was using it as a channel for my unfocused anger and real despair about the future, about the incompetence, hypocrisy,  and malice I experienced everywhere in the world around me but especially in Augean halls of Government and Academia.

The cognitive dissonance so generated provoked my blog title and fired up my muse. I haven’t written much lately because of pressing business demands (year end) but also, curiously, because of a changing personal outlook. Is this “patience” growing in my breast?

Once there was a reader’s question (she was starting her own blog) about how I got going when starting a post, I replied that I start by reflecting on whatever topical item has gotten my attention in the brimming cauldron of what passes for media reportage these days, mix in a healthy dash of Social Media and other bloggers and a pinch of Facebook, throw it in the microwave for 2 minutes and serve hot with lots of personal bias. This usually started the proverbial run-away team and I would just go wherever it took me.

Calgary Stampede chucksI would then give free reign to my imagination about the motives and thinking of figures and proximate causes of events in the media based on observed actions and transactions, throw in a healthy helping of conjecture and assumption and deliver it to the table piping hot in good grammar and some vernacular and spiced up with “Frank’s Hot Anger Sauce”.

But lately there seems to be not so much sauce around … I seem to be seeing things differently… the anger seems to have been replaced by regret and a deep sadness, and simple gratefulness for just how damned good we all have it.

I think that this changing point of view parallels a growth of charity in my life, but it certainly takes the fire out of posting. So in search of another muse I turn to what I am thinking about now …

Spirited Away – Reprise”, Joe Hisaishi, from the soundtrack album “Hisaishi meets Miyazaki Films”, 2008

“…  charity holds primacy amongst the virtues because it is inseparable from grace, it is the constitutive and indispensable element of our supernatural life. Where there is no charity there neither grace nor life, but only death. “He that loveth not, abideth in death” and contrariwise, “He that abideth in charity, abideth in God, and God in him” (I Jn 3, 14 -4,16).

Faith and Hope can subsist in a soul which has lost grace, but charity cannot. It is so vital that it cannot co-exist with the death that is caused by sin. Furthermore, it is so vital that it is imperishable and will remain unchanged for all eternity. In heaven, faith and hope will cease because they bear with them some imperfection: faith makes us know God without giving us the vision of Him, and hope lets us hope in Him without giving us possession of Him. Hence, “when that which is perfect is come”, that is, the beatific vision, these two virtues will have no further reason for existing. 

However, it is not the same with charity which implies no imperfection, since by it, we love God either in the obscurity of faith, or in the clarity of vision, and therefore St. Paul says, “Charity never falleth away.” Here on earth, to adhere to God “these three remain: faith, hope, and charity; but the greatest of these is charity” (1 Cor 13,8.13) 

Divine Intimacy“, Fr. Gabriel of Saint Mary Magdalene, O.C.D. pp 737,  Copyright 1953 Monastero S. Guiseppe – Carmelitane Scalze, 2014 edition

Well, that’s enough for today, got other stuff to accomplish working on year end for my other company now. This one should not be as difficult as the first. More on these thoughts later.




Always remember, “Be charitable in your judgements, and never take yourself too seriously”