“Crux Fidelis”, Benedictines of Mary, Queen of Apostles, from the album “Lent at Ephesus”, (2014)
From the liturgy of the hours, this evening, April 13th in the year of our Lord 2020. Indeed an excellent Psalm for our current times … and so does Bill also have a few trenchant words for our current blight … Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow …
“She should have died hereafter; There would have been a time for such a word. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day To the last syllable of recorded time, And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death.
Out, out, brief candle! Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.”
Bill Shakespeare, Macbeth (1611?)
Today I have used some images taken from the Wickedpedia, the free encyclopedia, The Isenheim Altarpiece is an altarpiece sculpted and painted by, respectively, the Germans Niclaus of Haguenau and Matthias Grünewald in 1512–1516. I suspect these were real “Plague Years”, not this FUD filled “Plague Lite” which our leaders are currently inflicting on us. Anyway, no point in complaining about leaders, just thank God they are not shooting us yet.
I will not just copy everything they (the Wickedpedia) have to say about it but suffice to say, just go on over and visit it and read the article, it is worth one’s time to understand better the past history which contributed to Western European Civilization’s rise, especially since we are in such a hurry to blow it all away in our modern progressive wasteland.
OH, also, a trick question: “Why are there so few “O” blood type humans in Europe, except for in a couple of German Provinces? Bonus points for a cogent answer and it will be on the final exam as well.
I am thinking much these days about my attachments and how they get in the way of living in the Will of God, the Divine Will as related by Luisa Piccarreta. Some of this post I have reworked from one I made three or so years ago. My thoughts have not diverged much along the way to here. Anyway …
In fact all of the items, objections, observations, and situations complained about, and judged, and questioned in many of my posts, while provably “true” for some values of “true”, are firmly rooted in my own biases, attractions, beliefs, and narratives in and about this material world.
In short, my ego, my “self” is intimately enmeshed in all my observations and conclusions, MY plans, MY dreams, MY opinions, MY understanding.
I don’t believe that I am uniquely blessed. I believe that we all share these attachments to the material, especially if we strongly believe that this time based material reality is all there is.
Viewed through my human nature, all these things are ultimately important, but viewed through my soul nature they are really seen to be unimportant and irrelevant, mere distractions on the path.
And yet … and yet … we insist on refusing to see what is right before us. We dive into the unreal and forsake the real for the sake of our passions, our tastes, our desires, our egos.
“Barabbas is in each one of us. We are scoundrels, experts in selfishness, boasting, lust, violence and greed. We are bandits, taking God’s many gifts and ungratefully neglecting them and squandering them.
We take for granted the most precious realities of life: family, life, nature, health, faith, and the sacraments. We squander our talents, our money, our time, and the love others offer us.
We are quick to criticize and judge, to steal others’ honor and sully it with our moral and intellectual myopia. What do we, who are so flawed, so weak, so slow to repent, and so reluctant to serve — what do we deserve?
Certainly not God’s love, certainly not his continued forgiveness, certainly not redemption, hope, peace, and heaven. Strictly speaking, we deserve to be cut off from the kingdom against which we have so often rebelled — just like the murderous insurgent Barabbas.
And yet, Jesus overlooks what we deserve. It is Passover, and the angel of justice passes over the sinner to wreak his punishments on the Lamb of God instead.
Look at the Lord with the eyes of Barabbas. Is there any heart that loves you more than His Sacred Heart? Is there any heart more trustworthy than the heart that died so that you might have abundant life? John Bartunek, LC, ThD. “The Better Part”, pp321
We insist on refusing to see what is right before us — we refuse to see reality through the eyes of our spirit/soul — we clutch at our “self” and our passions, appetites, vices, and sins, because, as Screwtape says (about half way down one of my posts): “you must remember that he (us) takes Time for an ultimate reality”.
As we walk through this “valley of death”, this mortal world full of evil both without and within, we find that the closer we cling to the visible, material, temporal vision, the more we fear.
Because when you really look at everything around us, the happenings, and events, and personal relations, and national relations, the EVERYTHING in TIME, the more we fear.
Because, if we actually pull our collective heads out of the “sand” (or wherever) the more we have to acknowledge that there is not one damned thing we can do about any of it.
And if this is all there is then we may just as well end it all. If this is all there is then what is really the point?
This morning I visited another WordPress blog which I follow at “Finding Hope” Often I am encouraged and given hope reading what this person writes. This time I found there a story specifically about this struggle with “What’s The Point”. It brought me to tears and to prayer:
A Prayer of Sorrow
” I have fallen, Lord, once more. I can’t go on. I’ll never succeed. I am ashamed. I don’t dare look at you. And yet I struggled, Lord, for I knew you were right near me, bending over me, watching.
But temptation blew like a hurricane, and instead of you I turned my head away. I stepped aside, while you stood silent and sorrowful. Lord, don’t look at me like that.
For I am ashamed and sorrowful. I am down, shattered, with no strength left. I dare make no more promises. I can only stand bowed before you.
Come, Child, look up. Isn’t it mainly your vanity that is wounded? If you loved me you would grieve but you would trust. Do you think that there is a limit to God’s love? Do you think that for a moment I stopped loving you? But you still rely on yourself.
You must rely on me. Ask my pardon and get up quickly. You see, it’s not falling that is worse, but staying on the ground.”
If we are not careful we find ourselves angry with God because “He is doing this to me!” and we can’t bring ourselves to recognize our own failings and faults, and that God is not really “doing this to us” but just watching us sorrowfully from His eternal NOW as we do these spiteful things to ourselves to “punish” Him.
And then consider how much of what we do daily is out of spite and passive aggression. Spite at family members, spite at neighbours, spite at friends, spite at groups of people we “have a bone to pick” with, spite at other drivers, spite at other folks in public places or in the news, spite at professional groups, anyway, you get my drift.
Our spiritual point of view completely obscured by passion , resentment and pride, so we do and say things we later regret or find are mistaken in their target and intent.
“Every evil screams out only one message: “I am good”! And not only does it scream, but it also demands that the people cry out tirelessly in response: ‘You are good, you are freedom, you are happiness’ “(Father Alexander Schmemann)
All of these passions painting layer upon layer of darkness on the vision of our soul/spirit, completely obscuring reality.
These “little sins” of spite, of holding grudges and passive aggression until vengeance be meted out are really great big sins of pride, of our ego, of needing to be seen and heard and esteemed, even by God, if we still remember Him.
“An Taiseirl (The Resurrection)”, Noirin Ni Riain and The Monks Of Glenstal Abbey, from the album “Vox de Nube”, (1996)
My mother (God rest her soul) went to her grave, “died unshriven” as they say, or “bás a fháil gan sagart” as our Irish ancestors would say, that is “not having confessed sins to a priest and been given absolution” after 32 years of rejecting God and the church and the sacraments.
Because she just couldn’t accept that God’s plan for her life did not align with her plan for her life. After my father died, at 57, my mother (always a very stubborn woman) rejected the church, priests, God, religion, holding out for her plan, until vengeance be meted out.
In her early life, although we were poor, she did her best to raise us children so that we never wanted for anything essential, even including making our clothes.
She looked out for us with devotion and worshiped my father as her eternal love. She died a unhappy woman at 92 still holding out for the material reality of her plan and rejecting the soul/spirit view of eternity.
God gave her 32 more years after he took Dad, to come to an understanding of reality and we discussed it and argued about it countless times for 32 years. I must have been a real pain in the ass when all she really wanted was to be left alone in her bitterness.
My mother refused to give up her narrative and her plan regardless of the cost.
And all that misery and bitterness because she took TIME for reality and could never bring herself to accept that this world didn’t matter, that she had to give up HER plan for life and accept God’s plan. At least, that is how it seemed to me at the time, and of course I know very little if anything, and God knows all and everything, so I pray that IF I make it to heaven some day, I find my mother there waiting for me and remarking “Well, finally, I thought you were never coming”.
15Love not the world, nor the things which are in the world. If any man love the world, the charity of the Father is not in him. 16For all that is in the world, is the concupiscence of the flesh, and the concupiscence of the eyes, and the pride of life, which is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17And the world passeth away, and the concupiscence thereof: but he that doth the will of God, abideth for ever. (1 John 2, Douay-Rheims Bible)
We would be better to write poems of Love to God:
“Ah, Love, let us be true to one another!
For the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.”
It seems obvious at this point what reality is and what the choice is that must be made, between a short syllable of time or all eternity, to devote our short lives to chasing happiness and success in this world or take off our narrow goggles and pursue eternity.
But in order to detach from the important material things which fill up our lives and leave us bitter and afraid we have to abandon our “selfishness” and trust God.
Selfishness is rooted in “FEAR” of losing something good for ourselves or missing out on something which might make us happy, or whatever … we often do not even know what it is we are afraid of losing or missing out on, but we are sure someone else is getting it and we are not.
The main obstacle or hurdle to overcome when approaching the spirit/soul point of view is self love. It is immensely difficult to develop detachment from this world while fully immersed in the pool of self love where this time based world is everything. I have been pounding my block head against this stone wall for decades with the only result being an understanding that I cannot do this on my own. Easy to say, immensely difficult to put into practice in a world of Time and Self. Beg GOD to help me do this … there is no “Dummies” book for this.
By immersing oneself in the world of spirit, outside time and space, where everything material is unimportant we are able to appreciate and understand just what an infinitesimal part of reality is the part with time, which we choose to believe constitutes all of reality. Really … I can say that so easily … but it is difficult to practice because I have to give up … and I have been drilling into myself all my life from the earliest years I can remember “Never Give Up, Never Give Up, Never Give Up”.
So we have to give up our self and trust God, a difficult target when we have so much trouble trusting everything in Time, our family or our friends, or the folks at work or at the corner store.
Trust; trust God, who knows us so much better than we even know ourselves since he conceived us and created us and he loves us more than we love ourselves and he wants nothing more than our absolute happiness and well being. He knows what we need. So in conclusion (for now) “LET IT GO!” We have to move from “My will be done” to “Thy will be done”. Our future depends on it.
We fight the long defeat because results are not as important as our Father’s delight. We fight the long defeat because we are not the authorities over “success.” We fight the long defeat because the final victory is coming.